It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i drank out of a bidet.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My dick has a subreddit
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
