I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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