i permit you to call me
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
