We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
