Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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