You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
