I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
