At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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