I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she smelled like a LAN party
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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