I wish i was in the wii world.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
