so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
