But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
