Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
