That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
