Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
