Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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