Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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