Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He passed out mid-signature
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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