It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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