"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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