I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Farmville is her only friend.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
