I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
