You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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