So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
