Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
