i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
