woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
