the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
