ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
