the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
