Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
