I wish I could teleport
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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