White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
