office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
