We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
