After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
