I think I just saw someone hide a body.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
