the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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