How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
