What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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