YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
