That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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