Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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