I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
