Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize