Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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