Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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