dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
my poor anus
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
