Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
