I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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