have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
