Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
