I hate your face
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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