did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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