Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
