why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize