Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
