he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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