Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
