This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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