you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
