His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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