At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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