do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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