DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
