Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
