i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
